so everything's coming together...

Got another email from Curtis today...figured out mail, appliances, beds (said he could secure a queen for me if I'd like). I emailed him back right away with the go on the bed...what an incredible way things have turned out. I couldn't imagine a better set up, and the way things are looking right now, I think that my trip is one, going to actually happen, and two, will be less of a punch in the gut than I thought it would be.

My next step is funding, now that I've secured a place to live for very cheap, considering the location and the amenities provided underneath the $400/month agreement. I just filled out my initial FAFSA today, and it should be processed by the time I get back onto the mainland next week. Now I'm looking at different scholarship/grant websites, and also I will email the program director to see if there are scholarships available that aren't listed on the APU website.

Anne and I had a tearful goodbye yesterday, and it really got me thinking about how I'm actually moving to Alaska, and actually leaving behind so much and so many. Things like this don't really hit me until I'm there and good and ready to deal with my emotions, which usually works really well when I have new activities and new people to throw the extra emotional energy into. But it scared me when yesterday she and I were on a dock on Madeline Island, wondering aloud if this was going to be the last time we saw each other before I left. I cannot get myself into this mindset right now...it's hard enough being disconnected physically on an island for five days a week and having an intense two days to try and catch up with people (and then I'm usually tired and crabby anyway from the extra hoopla of readjusting to mainland life). If I start saying the "I'll miss you so much" words now, there will be no way in hell that I'll be able to get on that plane when the time is ready. Please save stuff like that for me until August. Please. I'm at that point where I get mad if I hear it, which I don't want to be at all. I LOVE YOU, my family and friends, more than you'll ever know or I'll let you know, and it breaks my heart realizing that I'm going to be leaving so many incredible friends and family for a cold place far away.

Damn it, I'm crying in the library. This tangent wasn't supposed to happen, but since I'm treating this like a journal, I won't erase what I've written.

Onto brighter topics. Last night Kat and Jess, my two bestest buddies up here at the park, came out to Little Sand Bay for a beach fire, swimming and brew...we got down to the beach and after much hoopla getting everything set up, had a nice little fire going after the sun went down. Swimming was decadent..the smell of the fresh water mingling with the ozone of the storm that was coming in and the piney smoke drifting out from our fire made me want to cry with the love I feel for this place. I am head over heels in love with being here.

Today's already been a fun day, too. Got up around 8, discovered I had no hot water and so went to the other dorm to shower, chatting with a fellow ranger for a while prior about climate change. Then I went to the LSB visitor center to drop off some forms for my supervisor, and ended up getting into a really intense project-based conversation with another ranger buddy. He and I are going to get on developing podcasts for the website...podcasts of scripted island tours, nature hikes, that kind of thing. How cool is that going to be?! My homework this week will be putting together the framework for the script to do a pod tour of Manitou's old fish camp, and the wheels are already turning with ideas on how we should go about it. What kind of dork am I to be glad to have homework again? nerdo!

Anyway, I have errands to run...grocery shopping for another stint on my island, and talking with the cruise service guy about side work this summer. LOVE!